Back away from the laptop...

This has gotten out of control.

It’s pathetic, really, and it’s time. No, it’s past time. Time for me to close the laptop, and back away slowly.

What started as a normal, healthy relationship has turned into an obsessive, all consuming affair. It’s an addiction, a compulsion...it’s the internet. Actually, more specifically, it's my email. The obsession is with the internet in general – I can get lost in there for hours - but the reason I dive in to begin with is an unhealthy attachment to my email.

I wasn’t always this way. There was a time in my life when connections with friends and family were face to face, or at least cell to cell. But not anymore. Now, I have to stay plugged into gmail in order to feel the love. That being said, I suppose it’s not unusual that I’ve stepped up my internet activity since moving to this side of the planet. It’s been a steady and constant progression though, and now I’m afraid I’ve crossed the line between lonely girl trying to communicate with loved ones and crazy girl incapable of being away from her laptop for more than a few hours at a time.

I blame, at least in part, the time difference. You see, for the better part of my workday, most of you people are still in bed. So my inbox gets very little action during the hours I’m actually supposed to be sitting in front of my computer. So, I usually close up my laptop at the end of the workday feeling slightly unloved. But then, I’m at home a few hours later and think perhaps now someone has found time in their busy day at the office to send me an email. So I open up my laptop...just to check. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. But I’m always checking.

Now some of you are probably thinking, ‘Well if she’s online so much, why don’t I get more emails?’ (Others of you probably wish I wouldn’t rebound your inbox quite so quickly. Sorry, D. - I just can’t help it.) But here’s the thing; while I do obsessively check emails, I don’t obsessively write them. If I get one, I’m pretty good about replying, but I rarely initiate. It’s like I’ve told you before, I kinda think of this blog as an email, so if you’re reading it, you pretty much know what’s going on with me. I don’t have much else to add about my life. But if you email me with the juicy details of your life, I will most certainly feel obliged to reply relatively quickly with comments and unsolicited advice.

But as usual, I digress.

The thing is, I start out jonesing for an email hit, but once I’m parked in front of the screen, I start opening new windows to simultaneously check MSN and CNN and the NY Times. And don’t even get me started on the blogosphere. I’ve been swallowed whole. I mostly read blogs about writing which is ironic because it’s these very blogs that are keeping me from writing! Pathetic, I know. And then of course there are the celebrity gossip sites and the food network site and the illegal downloading sites and of course facebook and Scrabulous…

But it’s time to detox. Now, I can’t cut myself off completely (for work purposes, she tells herself), but this week, I am going to limit my internet access to the office. In fact, I’m not even going to open my computer in the evenings. It may not seem like a big step to you, but I’m slightly terrified. In fact, I’ve been telling myself I was going to do this for about a month now and I haven’t been able to stick to it. I’m hoping that the public announcement will keep me focused on the goal at hand.

Oh, what was I saying? Oh yes, stay focused. (She writes after having abandoned the blog for twenty minutes to write a quick reply to an email.)

I realize by admitting to all of this that I’ve lost any cool points I might have had (whatever, like I had any to begin with). But there you have it. While you are busy at work, I am pathetically at home waiting by my inbox to hear from you. And probably reading Pink is the New Blog while I wait.

But not this week...at least, well...we’ll see how it goes.