The Fate of the Blog

So, I started to put my blog on the list of things I will miss about living in South Africa, but then I decided against it, because I haven’t quite decided if the end of my time in Africa will be the end of the blog. I mean, obviously, the blog can no longer be about my “Adventures in Africa,” but then, the blog hasn’t always been about Africa anyway. Couldn’t it just as easily be Adventures in Atlanta? Probably…

But then I consider what that would mean, and I’m not so sure. The blog serves as a kind of journal for me, and at times, I reveal way too much information in this very public space. And that’s fine as long as I’m writing from the opposite side of the planet. While I’m 10,000 miles away, I can post about my insecurities and issues without having to worry about a colleague mentioning it to me the next day at work, or worse, running into an old boyfriend and having him bring it up in our local Kroger. Do you know what I’m saying? It would just be…weird. So, then I think, well, I’ll keep writing, but perhaps I need to filter my thoughts and censor my subjects a bit more. But then I wonder if the blog will still be worth reading if I’m coloring everything rosy. I don’t know.

And if my personal life is off limits, will I have anything remotely interesting to say once I’m back in the good ole US of A? While I don’t really think living in Africa has made me all that interesting, it’s kind of made me seem interesting…at times anyway (Maybe? Go with me here). I mean, I could always count on a post about crime in Joburg or South African politics or photos from a trip to the bush if I was drawing a blank for subject matter. But what happens when I’m living in normal every day America again? What’s my hook? My theme?

I have several friends who blog, but most of them have babies. Babies are a good solid topic for a blog. They’re cute. They do funny things. People like to see photos and video clips. Now obviously, I don’t have a baby. But maybe I could borrow a baby and start a fake mommy blog. (What do you think D? A baby blog for Borisa???)

I don’t know. Logic tells me to stop blogging, but I think I kind of need it. Is that pathetic? Sure, at times it’s a pain in the ass and I don’t really feel like writing anything, but I continue to do it because – well, I guess I take pride in it. Of course, it’s a source of embarrassment too – kind of in the same way that you want people to come and see your play even when you’re cast in the role of a fat old lady. Sure, you look ridiculous, but you’re still kinda proud and want people to watch.

And as long as I’m using the theatre metaphor, I think for me, writing the blog is a bit like community theatre must be for someone who once-upon-a-time had dreams of being a movie star. Does that make any sense? I don’t mean to say that I’m giving up on the idea of publishing a novel, but after a year of trying to research agents and publishers, I’m a bit more realistic about the likelihood of it actually happening. That being said, I’m not sure I have to publish a novel to fulfill my dreams of being a writer. As long as I have a handful of people who want to read my random stories in the form of this blog…well, that might be more than enough for me.

So I guess you can tell which way I’m leaning…but I’m not ready to make the commitment just yet. I mean, once I have a real job again (please God, let me get a real job again!) and resume my former life, will I actually have time to sit around and pontificate in the blogosphere?

I guess we’ll both have to wait and see…