Wanted: Female seeking female with BFF potential

I need a girlfriend. You see, I’m a girls’ girl, and fortunately, I have never lacked for girlfriends. In fact, I never understood those girls that claimed to not like other girls. You know the ones I mean, the ones that always say – usually as if it’s something to brag about – that she doesn’t know why, but all of her friends are guys. I never liked those girls. Clearly, they missed the best part about being female – girlfriends.

Whenever I move to a new city, I leave girlfriends behind. And each time, as tears are shed and promises made, I wonder how I will ever find another girlfriend like Alison, or Joanna, or Laura, or Kirsty, or Bridget. After my most recent goodbyes, I think I’ve finally realized that I won’t find another Stephanie or another Robin or another Katie, but I will find someone else. Someone who fills a space in my heart that I may not even know that I have.

I’m currently on the search for that person here in South Africa. It’s a tough thing to do, especially when part of me wants to spend all of my time emailing and calling my girlfriends back home. Why should I make new friends when technology connects me to the best girlfriends the world has to offer? And yet, it’s tough to split a bottle of wine over the phone, or watch a girlie movie together, or meet for lunch at a little café. So alas, I start the search.

This week was rather productive. Tuesday night, the company Roger works for held a party to launch their newest division. The night started off a little rocky – Sally complaining because she doesn’t have a drink and Bryan shouting at the waiters but blaming Sally because she has confused the waiter by asking for Black Label when she should know that they only have Red Label (they did, in fact, have Black), and me glaring at Roger as he scans the room for people he might know.

Roger and I with the crazy in-laws before the party

After my first glass of wine I express my annoyance, but he claims to be looking for people he can introduce me to. Fair enough, I suppose. I ask a waiter for another glass of wine. By my third glass, Roger has found one of his colleagues, Mark. I met Mark a few weeks ago in the office, but this time he has his wife with him. She looks nice enough, so when Roger and Mark go to the bar, I strike up a conversation. I’m doing my best to be charming and witty, and I think it’s working, but then again, after three glasses of wine I always find myself charming. She seems smart and funny though, and she doesn’t have kids yet, and she jokes about hating to work out and drinking more than she should. I decide I love her and begin to concoct a plan to make her my new BFF.

I am also introduced to Roseanne, who is the girlfriend of one of the sales guys. She is sweet and nice and owns a spa (an excellent quality in a girlfriend), but when she mentions that she’s twenty, I’m not so sure she’s worth the effort. Twenty? She might as well be twelve. I then consider the fact that my sister-in-law is twelve years older than me, and yet, she has welcomed me into her circle of friends. Hmm. Perhaps I should give the twelve year old a chance. After all, I do need a girlfriend, and beggars can’t be choosers.

So, it’s only Tuesday and I already have two promising girlfriend candidates. Wednesday night, my options increase. Laurel takes me to sushi with a big group of her girlfriends. A few I have already met, but by the end of the evening I am in love with all of them. The girl bonding is so pervasive that we end up inviting both the waitress and the girl on a bad date at the table next to us to join in our circle of female love. Instant girlfriends. I love it.

Friday afternoon, the girl bonding continues. This time it’s Sally welcoming me into her circle. While I feel like a bit of a loser hanging out with the retired set, I can’t help but admire the thirty year friendships they share. Sure, they might talk a little trash about whoever happens to be in the ladies room, but after thirty years, I suppose these women have earned the right to say what they like about each other without anyone questioning their love and loyalty. After all, together they have celebrated weddings and birthdays and grandchildren. They have cooked meals and nursed each other through cancer and hip replacements. They have supported each other through divorces and deaths of parents, spouses, even children. This is female friendship in all its beautiful, if sometimes bitchy, glory.

I’m a lucky girl, I know that. I have never lacked for true girlfriends, and after this week, I feel confident that I will find another. Maybe I’ve met her already, or maybe I’ll meet her next week or next month. She could be young or old or somewhere in between, but I know she’s out there. She won’t replace those amazing women who have already taken up residence in my heart, but she will join them, I’m sure. And one day, when I leave this country, I will cry and promise to stay in touch and wonder how I will ever find another girlfriend like…

And I know that I will take her with me in my heart to wherever I make my next home.

Now, if I can just find her.